But God, I’m Tired

“But God…. I’m tired.” Have you ever been at that point and uttered those words?

Recently, I’ve dealt with some unfavorable circumstances and I can admit that I hit a point of feeling downright tired. The best way to describe it is, I felt completely surrounded on every side by the weight and pressure of the things coming up against me. I seemed to be fighting battle after battle and issue after issue but the more I fought, the more attacks kept coming.

Some of the things I was dealing with was stress from my job, stressful situations at home, stress associated with trying to heal from my past, and I was facing some health issues.

All of this started occurring shortly after I thought I had things figured out. I was beginning to walk in purpose and I was doing the assignments God instructed me to do. So, the sudden attacks left me utterly confused.

What made matters worse was, I wasn’t really hearing any clear directions from God on how to adequately tackle everything being thrown at me. I was sitting in a state of ambiguity. Not really knowing how to feel or how to move forward.

Before long, fear started to creep in. Fear about my health, my future, and even fear about my ability to fulfill the assignments I’ve been called to do.

I confess that I even experienced a lapse of motivation at this point and in my confusion, I asked

“God where are you in all of this?”

After looking back and evaluating everything that led me up to that point, I eventually apprehended the notion that He was right in the center of it all. The situations may have taken me by surprise but God was not surprised by them.

None of what we go through catches Him by surprise because He declared our end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10). Therefore, the situations we endure change nothing because He already factored it into the plan He has for our life. The plan that ultimately glorifies Him.

Granted, things may not always feel good but this is when discipline steps in. Where even though you appear to be down and losing, you have to stay committed to the fight. You also have to stay committed to using the weapons God has equipped you with to fight.

Keep in mind that many times, the fight we face is spiritual and show up in the natural. Therefore, our weapons are not carnal (2 Corinthians 10:4).

Ephesians 6:10-18 list the armor needed while in a spiritual battle. They are the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shoes with the preparation of the gospel of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit which is the word of God.

Continue to keep praying and declaring the word of God over your life.

There were a few days that I had to push past my feelings and press into God’s presence. It took all the strength I had to crack open my bible and speak His promises to my situations.

Even with my lapse in motivation, I still had that fire deep within me that echoed,

“Fight on! There’s something on the other side of this.”

Deep down in my heart, I am certain about what God has called for me to do at this time and although it gets rough at times, quitting is not an option. No matter what attacks may arise, I can’t second guess myself because I believe I’m right where He wants me to be.

I acknowledge that in this life, there will be situations that arise which evokes fear. However, we can’t allow ourselves to be overwhelmed or overcome by fear.

It is ok to get tired at some points in this Christian life. Being tired is not a sin. In the bible, Paul stated that we are at our strongest when we are weak and allow God’s strength to cover us in our weakness.

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” -2 Corinthians 12:9(NKJV).

Becoming tired just forces us into a place of resting in God.

Contrary to the carnal idea of fighting, a part of fighting as a Christian is resting in God.

You may ask,

“But how do I rest in God and keep fighting?”

Fighting while resting in God means surrendering control and allowing God to be God.

It’s not to be confused with giving up or giving in to something. It means that instead of throwing in the towel, you’re continuing to do what He has called you to do and what you can’t do, you surrender it up to Him to do.

A huge part in being able to surrender is actually believing that God is working on your behalf.

There’s a difference in “trying to believe” God is working things out in your favor and “actually believing” it.

I became so fixated on trying to believe that God would make a way that I wasn’t actually leaving it in His hands to do so.

Believing is to know without a shadow of a doubt that God will handle what needs to be handled.

It goes past acknowledging that He is able to do what you need Him to do but it’s having full assurance that He’s actively working on what you need. And because He’s actively working, you’re not trying to figure things out. You’re not trying to find a way to make things work. Instead, you believe without a doubt that God’s promises remain. You move forward in confidence knowing that God has already gone before you. You continue down the path He’s laid before you even when things don’t look like what you thought it would look like.

The word of God says,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)

Trusting God and believing that He’s working for us not only allows us to rest in Him but it keeps us from becoming overwhelmed by fear.

One of the most powerful things we can do when fighting is to sit still and be quiet before the Lord. It’s ok to not have an answer. Rest in knowing that He is still working even in the silence.

Don’t give up! The fight has been set up for you to win. So, continue to fight on until the victory is yours.