Letting go of the Expected Life to Experience Abundant Life

I collapsed onto the couch, then glanced over at the clock—5:16 in the evening, October 22^nd. With the thought of my birthday quickly approaching—just a day off from being exactly one month to the date—I reclined back into the sofa as I let out a deep breath; anticipating the annual process.

Around this time each year, it’s customary for my mind to commence performing a life analysis, while the countdown to November 21^st advances. For days on end—leading up to that faithful day—my quiet time is spent making a mental recollection of what I have and have not accomplished, assessing where I currently am against where I thought I’d be, and factoring in age and the allotted time I potentially have left to do it all in.

If you were to ask me ten years ago, I absolutely did not expect things to play out in this way. I had goals, I had a plan, I had aspirations. And to date, very few have been met in the EXACT way I expected them to be met.

Don’t get me wrong, I want for absolutely nothing (praise God). I’m by no means in a bad place. There has been major unexpected blessings along the way but quite a few unanswered prayers—which on those rough days, tend to serve as a reminder that I’m not where I thought I’d be. It’s more of the way in which life has played out for me and the unmet desires of mine I didn’t anticipate that has often made the encroachment of November 21^st particularly difficult.

But as I casually lounged on the couch, I took notice of something. This moment was different. Instead of automatically going through the annual laundry list of unmet expectations, my mind fell back to a perspective the Holy Spirit had been cultivating within me throughout the past few years.

And that being, this was not how I pictured my life looking but God is creating something beautiful.

While I may not have acquired the life I expected to have, I’ve been gaining something even greater. I have been gaining not only the experience of becoming the person God has created me to be but I’ve also gained the ability to live the life God’s predestined me to live.

When it all boils down to it, our life expectations are created out of our longing to be satisfied. From early on in life, we begin constructing a mental picture of what we believe will bring about the greatest amount of fulfillment in our life. This mental picture that we play in our mind during our adolescent and early young adult years, unwittingly sets up a blueprint for our entire life.

This blueprint becomes our model of how we believe our life should play out in order to reach the level of fulfillment we desire—which ultimately drives our expectations. But anyone who’s lived life long enough, knows the kicker is, life is beyond our control. And when a number of these expectations go unmet, our blueprint runs into disarray and the seemingly perfect mental picture we created is shattered—causing our idea of fulfillment to appear to be unattainable.

A major thing I’ve come to see is, no specific amount of prayers can move the heart of God to do something He’s just not willing to do. It doesn’t matter how good of a life plan we may think we’ve come up with; He will allow the plans we’ve created to shatter. We can’t force God’s hand. But even as this hard reality is so, I can say that absent the life we may have expected and prayed hard for, births a beautiful journey.

The issue with our self-made blueprint is, we set our step-by-step plan to achieve the ultimate goal of what we believe will bring us fulfillment. The thing is, there’s nothing in this world—and I mean absolutely NOTHING—that can bring about the fulfillment we all so desperately long for. But when we completely surrender our lives to Jesus Christ, He in turn orders our steps within our journey toward true fulfillment in life (Psalm 37:23). Jesus said,

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10 (NIV)

The great news is, even when the life we’ve planned falls short of our expectations, fulfillment is still attainable! Jesus came to offer an abundant life.  Of course this verse speaks of eternal life we gain in Christ but it also relates to the life we gain through Him on earth as well. The life Christ gives transcends the life that’s based on who we merely expect to be; as it is a life rooted in purpose and meaning. This is the life that transforms us into becoming the person God has created us to be. It’s the life we are empowered to live by God’s grace.

When we commit ourselves to Jesus Christ and grab hold of the abundant life He offers, on this side of eternity, we gain a better understanding of who God is (John 17:3) and how God is working in our life as the good shepherd. We become aware of His heart for us and His desire to work all things (even our unmet expectations) out for our good and for His glory (Romans 8:28).

In the abundant life journey He ushers us through, we experience God’s promises of provision, protection, joy, strength, and peace. And boy do we grow and mature as a result of the challenges we encounter throughout this journey! We grow in more ways than one—spiritually, mentally, as well as emotionally. Might I add, growth is not only necessary but it is such a beautiful thing.

I never thought I’d ever say this, but I’m glad God didn’t meet my expectations or the cultural expectations pertaining to my life. The self-made goals and plans I had—I’m grateful God responded “no” to those things. I’m glad He didn’t give in to my impatience and hand me more than I could handle at the given time. I’m glad He didn’t allow me to enter into places and spaces where my character at the time couldn’t keep me. And it is only by the grace of God that I have grown to a place where I can now say any of this.

I don’t believe I would know God like I do now if the life I expected was handed to me. And Lord knows I definitely wouldn’t have gained the experience of becoming the person He’s purposed me to be.

The beauty of life is experiencing all aspects of the fullness of life, which is obtained through Christ alone. He is the only one who can truly satisfy our deepest longings.

Nope, this is absolutely not how I pictured my life looking—it’s actually proving to be far more rewarding than what I pictured. Though not everyday is easy and not all of my days are void of some level of disappointment, I believe God’s creating something beautiful through this abundant life experience. And, I’m all in.